I think people have always been judged by their appearance. “He has such big muscles, he must be stupid.” “She’s so beautiful, she can’t be smart.” “They’re wearing glasses, they must be smart.” “They like to wear black, they must be weird in a particular way.” Brunettes are smarter than blondes and redheads have nasty tempers. That list could go on all afternoon.
I suspect every single human feels that there is some way that they have been unfairly judged based on their appearance, including all the Beautiful People. And I think we have all taken in societal expectations so much that we are our own worst critics.
I am hoping that talking about what those expectations are and how ridiculous most of them are is helping us to do 2 things that are sides of a coin. One is to quit being critical of ourselves and the other is to look at each other without looking for norms. But, instead to see the fabulousness that abounds.
Public conversation about it has helped me unlearn a lot of expectations. In particular, who gets to wear what. I wish the “why did I buy into that?” moments had come sooner. But, they didn’t.
This gave me joy. So many people, so many ways to decorate their bodies.
This is the junky patch between the patio and the driveway.
The bit between the walkway and the fence is where I had cannas trying to attack us all summer.
To my left as I took the picture is the yellow fig bush and the patch of green by the bucket is a gardenia. The big bush behind the fence is the brown turkey fig. The pot has thyme drooping over the side. The table to the left sometimes holds bonsai and sometimes holds pitcher plants.
The white thing hanging on the fence is a gate I had Riley Foster make for me when we had a deck. It was to keep Sophie contained. When we demolished the deck, I didn’t want to just dispose of it, so it became decorative rather than functional art. It kind of hides the trash cans, too. I guess that means it is still functional.
I’m thinking that I will let the cannas continue growing on the back side/yard side of the fence. If I do that, I need to move the trash cans out of that spot and move the white gate to the other side of the fence. That just takes pliers though. So, NBD.
That strip can continue to grow the yarrow that has crept over and I have some echinacea seeds from a friend to plant there next to the echinacea I had already put in. Those should be low enough not to be annoying to walk by next summer. She sent me some foxglove seeds I may try there, too. My chives and saffron crocuses are up by the patio. But, they don’t spread quickly and there’s room for all that, I think.
That area doesn’t seem to be eaten up with centipede grass. The other side, the gardenia side, is full of it. It’s also full of yarrow, mint and milkweed. So, full that the gardenia is NOT getting a fair shake. But that bush is established enough that I don’t want to try to move it because I’m afraid I’ll kill it if I do. And I don’t have a better place for the nice smelling shrub. At least not if I want to enjoy the scent when it blooms. I tried gardenias out by the front stoop and that was a disaster. FAR too much sun. And when I moved them, one did die. This one has been more determined.
The bucket is full of centipede grass I’ve been pulling up. But, it is so deep and so determined, I’m not sure it’s worth the labor.
I feel like I can either move the edgers and give up or dig out as much of the soil as much I can and fill it back in with topsoil, intending to fight the centipede as it tries to creep back in. Third choice is to just keep pulling it forever.
I feel like all my choices end up with centipede growing there because it’s such a sunny spot. Digging will just give me a little respite before it’s all back.
If I dig it out, the gardenia will need to be mown around. But, it will look less junky than that it has this summer. And the yarrow has already spread to the other side of the path. So, it’s not like that will be lost if the gardenia side is whacked.
See? I knew that if I’d write about it, I’d figure what I really want to do instead of looking at it and dithering.
An envelope made of pink yarn really does look a lot like the pink pussy hats that were symbols of protest a few years ago.
I made a trivet to go under it, too.
It’s my first trivet/coaster and it isn’t perfect. And the cozy’s a little loose. But, it’ll work for what I need it to do.
The cozies at the tea room had little flowers in the corner. That may get added later. But, it’s beyond my skill set right now. And I have a couple of afghans to finish.
I’ve wanted a cozy for my tea pots for a while and the patterns I found on line were more complicated than my present skill set. Top Hat Special-Teas in Florence, SC uses cozies that are rectangles folded over and stitched together on each end with a flat square placed underneath. I really liked how easy it looked to make and they were very functional. So, I decided to make at least one for myself.
One of the patterns in my most recent afghan kit is called a seed stitch. I like it because it’s easy and it makes a nice, thick weave. (I used it for Jeff’s infinity scarf.) It alternates single and double crochets with the other one going into each when you go the other direction. So, you start with an odd number of stitches.
I have a couple of skeins of pink that I bought and changed my mind about and I decided to use the lighter one for a cozy (Micheal’s Loop & Thread, soft rose). I can do that more thoughtlessly than some of the bits of the afghan I’m working on. So, it’s a fallback project when my hands want something to do and my mind isn’t into it.
I got my white teapot down to estimate how big I think it needs to be. But, I think I’ve made it larger than necessary. I didn’t really feel like ripping it out to start over because I’m fairly far along.
But, looking at the size difference again is going to change my mind about that. It’s not like I have a schedule for getting it done and I think I’d rather redo it now than be unhappy with it later.
I’ll use the dark pink to learn to make a round to go under it once this is done. And I have some leftover red if I decide I want to learn to make a flower for decoration.
It really looked awful. I have no doubt that the people down the road shook their heads at the mess when they left the neighborhood.
Taken in early September
There’s a tree-of-heaven and a Chinese silk tree in there. And a briar that may or may not have been a wild blackberry. Random small maples, cedars and some elderberries were giving it a try, too.
The lilac by the fence has had a Chinese silk tree and a maple trying to squeeze in for a couple of years. I thought I killed them last year, but, they are going to need more persistence.
I got them out and treated with Triclopyr again. And I’ll put more effort into not letting them grow next year. Also, more Triclopyr until they just give up.
I sprouted some muscadine seeds a few years ago and I’m hoping to use this side of fence to be a trellis for the vine. If it ever makes fruit and they match the parent plants, they will be HUGE grapes.
I have promised plants to Cannon’s neighbor. So, I lifted some irises that weren’t doing well by the fence and took out one of the Red Hot Pokers that was nearer to the HVAC to take to her tomorrow.
This side is all swamp sunflowers. They are wonderful for the pollinators in the Fall. But, they do not get enough sun here. I think I’ll move them over to the corner of the fence next Spring and make this side a shade garden.
I really do believe that once I get this all cleaned up, maintaining it next year won’t be as much of a chore.
I am the Audience 