I finally ordered food for my little tree. I have been starving it because I simply hadn’t gotten around to getting food for it. I hope I haven’t killed it.
I have pellets coming from Bonsai Tonight. Shipping cost half the price of the pellets but I can live with that.
I believe in the Big Bang and I believe it is the breath of God and it is God. Exhale creation, inhale entropy. And it is all Now. That part of the Now that forms into Ingram is part of Us before we are born and part of Us when we separate out of the moment we inhabit as individual particles and return to the greatness of All. And the part of Creation that was his life is still happening.
I am still laughing with my grandmother. I am still gossiping with my dad. I am still holding my infant son and I am still fucking up all they ways that I did that, too. And my future is unknown to me, but it is already happening, too. Not as it is supposed to happen, simply as it does happen.
So, that part of the liturgy that talks about “as it was and is and evermore shall be” really works for me. My dad is with me forever, I just can’t hold his hand any more. The particle of Now that is “me” misses that and cries sometime.
I do not believe that the Breath and God are separate. I believe Singularity.
My Nanny (paternal grandmother) was a constant gardener. She canned or preserved anything she had enough of to put in a jar. When my uncle was situated with a yard big enough to plant in, he followed her example. His uncle, her brother, used to get bean seeds from a local general store to send to his nephew in Nashville, TN.
When Nanny died, we pulled out all the things she had put by and everybody got an equal portion. Except, she had taught me how to make pickles. So, I traded my pickles for quarts of beans. And had no more for 2 decades.
Four years ago, I called that general store to see if they still carried Hamby bean seeds. My uncle’s garden was gone as his dementia progressed and his uncle had been gone almost as long as his sister. And they do. They don’t usually sell the little hobby garden size package, but they sold me a quarter pound of seeds. They weren’t (maybe still aren’t) set up to take a credit card. So, they sent the seeds to me with a bill enclosed, trusting me to send a check back to them.
(Of course I did. Shut up.)
My dad, never a gardener, has been delighted with the flavor of his past, when I share.
Hambys are pole beans and have a fairly short production period. But, they put out like crazy for for the 3 or 4 weeks they do put out. They are a great, meaty bean and the seeds turn lavender when you cook them.
We have 4 tepees this year and this is our first harvest.
Yes. I’m bragging. Whatever.
I didn’t kill any of the trees.
Since the cedar made it though last winter OK, I wasn’t surprised that it survived this one. It was mild and rained a lot. However, I didn’t protect the maple in its little pot and it lived, in spite of me. And I had a hard time remembering to water the juniper. It would rain for several days and I didn’t have to do anything. Then, it would dry out for a couple of day and I would be terrified that I had left it alone too long in the mulch and that it was dead.
But, I was wrong!
So, I’m pleased with myself and feeling like it is time to shop. I need wire cutters, wire, more potting medium and, maybe, a pot for the cedar this August.
I am the Audience 