I finally figured out a thing.

My co-worker, Nick, suggested that I treat myself to the piece of cake I have been longing for when I get down to the weight I wish to maintain. That kind of thinking is part of how I got in this shape and it has to change or I’ll be right back here in a couple of years.

I have been aware that there are 2 fallacies I need to give up.

First, food has to stop being a reward. Food is necessary and food is tasty. Enjoying the tasty part is OK. Eating too much, i.e. more than I actually need in order to function in a healthy way, is not.

Second, denying myself food I want leads to overeating that food when I finally allow me to have it again.

I allowed myself that cake Monday night. I simply calculated it into my daily calories. Yesterday, I had a cappuccino and a pecan bar, also calculated into my daily calories.

I can do this.

Today, I finally figured out how to reward myself in a healthy way.

Spa.

When I lose 4 more pounds, I will be at the maximum weight my insurance company wants me to be. That day, I get a pedicure. Every time I get to a 5 or a 0 after that, I get to go again. When I get to my personal desired weight, I’m going to have a 60 minute massage. With an actual massage therapist not just the hydromassage bed at the gym or the chair thing on my sofa.

I  really love having someone else give me a pedicure. This is going to be an effective shift in my head space.

I’ve been using MapMyitness to keep up with exercise and calories. (My doctor suggested the calories part.) I have lost 10 pounds since I started going to the gym and tracking what I am doing and recording improvements has helped me. I don’t do the Challenges. I just compete with myself. That’s the only thing that has ever been effective for me.

LabCorp first offered us the stick. Increased rates if our BI was too high. Then, the carrot. Up to $300 refund on various fees and expenses of thing we have done (and already paid for) to get ourselves healthier.

They should pay me back for the 6 months of gym fees plus the new toy. And, if I keep up the weight loss, I should have no worries about my insurance cost next year. I was able to appeal and get a year of grace by talking to my doctor and getting her to fill out a form with a plan for my weight loss.

I knew it was needed. But, I allowed myself to keep thinking that “exercise is boring and I hate it” rather than considering it necessary PM for my body. I bitch about people not doing regular PM on the instruments in the lab. Took me a while to shift that attitude to my own self.

Watching my father die of heart disease helped me change my mind. He’s not gone, yet. It’s a slow, lingering death that I don’t wish on anyone. And I am going to do the preventive maintenance that will help me avoid it.

So.

The FitBit. It’s supposed to help me keep up with my heart rate and works with the MapMyFitness app on my phone. Still trying to figure out how it all goes together.

When LabCorp refunds my money, it’s going in the rowing machine fund.

Chuck used to have one and had to sell it when he moved into a place that didn’t have room for it. He has missed it. I have a couple of friends who love rowing. One has one in her house. One has one at her gym. I have used the one at the workout room where parents live and like it.

We have room for it now, since he has closed his law practice. The room that was his office is becoming a grow room and pantry. A rowing machine should fit in next to his inversion table, no problem.