I am the Audience

Autumn report

November 16, 2020

a day in this life

The Candy Roaster winter squash is boring. Not much flavor and a kind of stringy texture. We won’t grow that again. Back to pattypans next year.

The Rutgers were OK. But, I prefer Cherokee Purples. Same with the yellow cherry tomatoes. They were good. But, I prefer Sweet 100s. They are more prolific and I like the smaller size.

We have Tango lettuce, spinach and kale doing nicely, each in a different trough. (We added a 4th.) I am spoiled by fall greens. If we ever can’t keep up a garden so that I have to buy them all the time, I’m going to get whiny.

The asparagus has done well in the trough. It’s going to be interesting to see how productive it is next year after the spring transplant.
Haunting

November 13, 2020

dancing in the field of dreams
Only child

October 28, 2020

a day in this life, family

When they were about 12, they requested a little sister.

Kitty: “I’m not married.”
Offspring: “Even *I* know that’s not required.”
K: “But, it’s easier with 2 parents.”
O: “I’m old enough to help out. “
K: “She would want to play with your toys.”
O: “I would tell her to stay out of my room.”
K: “Yeah? How well does that work with you staying out of my room?”
O: “Never mind. We’re good.”

The neighbors may have heard me laughing.
I love them so much

October 28, 2020

a day in this life, family

My child is non-binary, using they/them. I find they/them easier to use about the adult. When I talk about the child, I still think of the child I knew. When I talk about the child, I’m more likely to slip. I have known that gender dissonance has been part of their way of being since HS. (Didn’t know the name for it, then.) And, truthfully, there seem to have been inklings before that which I didn’t recognize.

They had me come in to a conference with the HS social worker to come out to me as bisexual. I said “And? What else?” “Uh. That’s all.” “Is there “That’s all? I had to come school for this?” The social worker was clearly expecting something else from me.

I think that, as much as the 2 of us have striven to be clear and honest and to have healthy communication , we sometimes have used the Mother and Child boxes on each other.

My child is a Millennial and suffers all the struggles that seem to be rife in that cohort. Depression and anxiety being significant. But, they, also, have the freedom of thought that comes from growing up in the post-hippy era. It makes me sad that they don’t seem to see the benefit of that.
Proust Questionnaire

October 8, 2020

a day in this life

Shamelessly lifted from Vanity Fair. I don’t intend to answer these questions here. I don’t think my answers are useful to anyone but me. And they change. I don’t even have coherent answers for a couple of them. But, I do think the questions are interesting to consider as we muddle along.

__1.__What is your idea of perfect happiness?

__2.__What is your greatest fear?

__3.__What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?

__4.__What is the trait you most deplore in others?

__5.__Which living person do you most admire?

__6.__What is your greatest extravagance?

__7.__What is your current state of mind?

__8.__What do you consider the most overrated virtue?

__9.__On what occasion do you lie?

__10.__What do you most dislike about your appearance?

__11.__Which living person do you most despise?

__12.__What is the quality you most like in a man?

__13.__What is the quality you most like in a woman?

__14.__Which words or phrases do you most overuse?

__15.__What or who is the greatest love of your life?

__16.__When and where were you happiest?

__17.__Which talent would you most like to have?

__18.__If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

__19.__What do you consider your greatest achievement?

__20.__If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be?

__21.__Where would you most like to live?

__22.__What is your most treasured possession?

__23.__What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?

__24.__What is your favorite occupation?

__25.__What is your most marked characteristic?

__26.__What do you most value in your friends?

__27.__Who are your favorite writers?

__28.__Who is your hero of fiction?

__29.__Which historical figure do you most identify with?

__30.__Who are your heroes in real life?

__31.__What are your favorite names?

__32.__What is it that you most dislike?

__33.__What is your greatest regret?

__34.__How would you like to die?

__35.__What is your motto?

Autumn report

Haunting

Only child

I love them so much

Proust Questionnaire