They’re cute. They’re fluffy. They have those adorable little paws. And they are total assholes. Also, stupid.
When I moved into a duplex in Charleston, SC, there was a tiny piece of yard. I planted 24 crocus bulbs. Squirrels dug up every one, took a single bite, hated it and tried the next one. They never learned that if it looks exactly the same, it is going to be just as nasty.
That was the start of my loathing. And nothing has changed my mind.
When Vash was debating being a yard cat, we left kibble out for him. We spotted cardinals helping themselves when it had snowed and decided that bird feeders were in order.
And the squirrels thought they should help themselves.
IF they didn’t also help themselves to tomatoes, more bulbs and strawberries, I might be inclined to be more kindly. But, they’re just destructive and I refuse to encourage them.
We have 3 Squirrel Buster feeders off the deck and think it’s funny, in a mean way, when new squirrels try to figure out how to get in them. It’s doesn’t work. Those things are effective. And watching squirrels bouncing around on them is vastly entertaining.
One night, something tore up the alternative squirrel-proof feeder my husband put in the front yard. It might have been the bear. It might have been a raccoon or opossum. It wasn’t a squirrel. So, that feeder goes in and out instead of remaining available.
And, since birds are dribblers, the squirrels do have one shot at getting snacks from us.
I don’t mind them cleaning up the wasted millet. They are clearly not starving.
I am the Audience 