My child is non-binary, using they/them. I find they/them easier to use about the adult. When I talk about the child, I still think of the child I knew. When I talk about the child, I’m more likely to slip. I have known that gender dissonance has been part of their way of being since HS. (Didn’t know the name for it, then.) And, truthfully, there seem to have been inklings before that which I didn’t recognize.

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They had me come in to a conference with the HS social worker to come out to me as bisexual. I said “And? What else?” “Uh. That’s all.” “Is there “That’s all? I had to come school for this?” The social worker was clearly expecting something else from me.

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I think that, as much as the 2 of us have striven to be clear and honest and to have healthy communication , we sometimes have used the Mother and Child boxes on each other.

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My child is a Millennial and suffers all the struggles that seem to be rife in that cohort. Depression and anxiety being significant. But, they, also, have the freedom of thought that comes from growing up in the post-hippy era. It makes me sad that they don’t seem to see the benefit of that.

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